9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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