i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
