We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
