I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
