haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
