Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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