Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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