So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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