I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize