So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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