If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
