Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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