i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
