So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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