That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
