Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
