Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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