I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
