they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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