At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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