dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
