I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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