she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
