She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
