i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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