he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize