hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
