One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize