My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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