Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
