I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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