maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have fence marks all over my body
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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