they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
