Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
