K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
