idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
