I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
