I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
