shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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