After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
