We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
