theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
