If i come over, it means nothing
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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