I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
