i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
