Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
