how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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