So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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