So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
