What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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