so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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