Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
