Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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