you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
