dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
