i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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