we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize