clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
