I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
