she was so not down for the gang bang
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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