Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize