You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
