I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
