I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
