38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
